Remembering Ed I’d like to present a view of Ed from the perspective of one not born to the Lank clan, but who had the incredible good fortune to become an extension to this wonderful family through association or marriage. I am proud to be one of many; Fred, Kathy, Christine, David, Diane and Michael are only a few. Usually when I write something that I consider important, the words come easily. And because much of what I have written over the years was stuff of which I knew quite a bit, I could scribble it within a relatively short time. However, in reflecting about the relationship that Nancy and I had with Ed, it has taken some time to get what I NEEDED to say down on paper. NOT because it was difficult to recall the good times, special events, clan dinners, plays and family gatherings that we shared, but precisely due to the wealth of fond remembrances of a special man, who headed up this special family. So, I thought that I might start back at the beginning. My first solid memory of Ed, and Elma too of course, was during the immediate lead-up to and the evening of, Nancy’s and my wedding; way back in June of 1973. I am almost certain that we did cross paths earlier, but for me those twenty-odd hours were the real start. To be honest, I was more than a tad anxious. Maybe it was the natural admiration of a sister – Louise, my mother-in-law to be – for her brother. In my mind, she revered him as an educated, successful and important man helping to lead what was then one of the first truly multinational corporations – Alcan. Through selective eavesdropping and holding on to snippets of information I was told by her family during the years I knew Nan before we married, I had a picture of him in my mind. And I was bit worried. I EXPECTED a big man, with a big view of things and exuding success and power, striding into our lives. Who I MET was an easy-going guy, with a ready smile, solid handshake, completely aware of each and everyone around him at all times. I will freely admit that it confused the heck outa’ me. The year after, on our way back from a soggy camping trip to spend time with Grandma and Grampa Lank in Kingston Nova Scotia, we were invited to stop over in Montreal at Ed and Elma’s. We had what I can only describe in Elma’s best terms as a “grand time”. Highlights for me were meeting Ed walking down the street after getting off the commuter train, a barbeque on the back deck, and of course, Flame, the dog-in-charge. Before we retired for the evening, Ed and Elma called us aside. Now, remember my confusion from a year prior? And my worry from the times before that? And Louise’s reverence? Well, I felt my heart, and several other organs, rise up into my throat, as we stood alone with them in their dining room. Then, quite seriously, they told us that WE were too old, and THEY were too young, for us to call them “Uncle” and “Aunt”. And, would we please just use Ed and Elma? At that instant, any confusion, worry, or concern I had evaporated. Over the years, we followed, admired, and envied their adventures in Ireland, Jamaica, and elsewhere. And we tried to get to any and all family gatherings that we could. But, as clan members married, had children, and spread out through Ontario and Quebec, there was a danger that those connections he so valued, would fade. But Ed would have none of that. He made it a mission to keep in regular and direct contact with the ever-extending family. And, over the subsequent years, those gatherings – a weekend here, and evening there, a visit while passing through - took place in a wide area from Waterloo, Toronto, a Pearson Airport hotel, Kingston, Montreal and even to our place in Mississauga. And they grew in numbers. With children, and then grand children, and even great-grandchildren the size of the crowd was often substantial. If memory serves, the last few encompassed four generations! As his mobility and I suspect willingness to spend too many hours in a car, diminished, they often took the train. It became somewhat more difficult for the clan to gather. Then, in an inspired decision, the “gathering” became an annual trip to Kingston for a wonderful, and anxiously anticipated for us, weekend that ended up becoming our Canada Day celebration. Sometimes we all went to the Gananoque Playhouse for a performance. Sometimes we ended up at the golf club for a loud, laugh-filled dinner that always featured some inspired performances by one of the younger members of the crowd. And sometimes, we took over part of a local restaurant. But we almost ALWAYS started with drinks and snacks on their deck, overlooking the golf course. We celebrated weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, births and national holidays. I came to look forward to these periodic, then annual gatherings, and noticed a very interesting phenomenon occur at every one. Quietly, without any fanfare, or even likely notice by many, Ed would make absolutely certain that he spent some one-on-one time each and every attendee, regardless of age, or relationship. He took special interest in jobs and careers, often asking very informed and studied questions. More than once he quietly let us know he was always available to listen and advise. I only wish that I had taken him up on that. Ed was always very current on business, sport and politics. When my son was in university, and after he started his career, Ed’s curiosity never waned. With my daughter, too, he was always interested in her schooling and work. I saw him spend special moments with Sasha and Jessie, Renee and David, Sherri and Michael, and as they came along the great grandkids too. I must admit that I learned a lot from him. Patience. Ever good humour. Be fully aware of the world around you. But, foremost was the love of family. And the vital importance of keeping those family and extended family relationships close and strong. My sister and I were not raised in a home where family gatherings were much of a concept. My mom was an only child and my dad, one of seven, rarely even mentioned his siblings. So family get-togethers were virtually unheard of. Until I fell in with the Lank/Kerr clan, that is. And I must also admit that at first, I did not get it. Over the years that changed. Really changed. I regret never taking the opportunity to tell him how much he influenced me. But, I get the feeling, he knew anyway. Ed was many things, and many different people to those who knew him. In his career he was an accomplished engineer, and he simply HAD to be an incredibly effective administrator for the folks at Alcan to have placed him in such complex and demanding situations. At which he excelled I might add. To the people who knew him, he was a respected colleague, voracious golfer, dear friend, cherished husband, beloved father, grandfather and great-grandfather. He was easy-to-laugh, always smiling, and had an almost mischievous twinkle in his eye. And to Nancy and me, he was simply our favourite Uncle.

Thank you for setting up this memorial to Ed. We hope that you find it a positive experience developing the site and that it becomes a place of comfort and inspiration for you to visit whenever you want or need to.

I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other that we still are. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was.